In the opening lines of the old war movie Apocalypse Now, a soldier is seen waking up in his hotel room struck by the realization that it’s the beginning of another day without a military assignment.  He shouts in great frustration, “Every day without mission I grow weaker; every day the enemy crouches in the bush, he grows stronger!”

Mission is central to remaining...

Ron and Cindy were sitting in my office arguing right in front of me.  Neither were really listening to the other, but only trying to get their own point across.  This is not wholly unusual – it occurs quite frequently in fact.  Usually I let it go on for a bit so I can observe how the couple communicates especially in times of conflict.  After about five minutes I stopped them and suggested they try something different since they obviously were going nowhere very quickly.  Instead of simply reacting to each other, defending their position, and pointing out where the other is wrong, I suggested they...

Zerrin and I have some good friends who went to a colleague of mine for marriage counseling. The interesting thing is they weren’t aware of anything plaguing their marriage – they were simply going for a “check-up.” My friend told me that when he and his wife first got married, they committed to each other that after 5 years of marriage, they would spend a minimum of 4 weeks...

It happens nearly every day in my office. In an attempt to explain their hurt and disappointments, husbands and wives fail at hearing the heart of the other’s concerns. They miss each other. Both parties become frustrated…and their further attempts to communicate only grow worse. Often, if I don’t intervene they end up yelling at each other, or giving up. In either case, feelings of despair grow larger. Every time I witness the above – I grieve. How terribly sad it is ...

It used to be a fairly common term years ago – “dying to self.” Now I wonder how many of us really know what it means – let alone practice it very often when it comes to our spouse. I attended a Pastors’ luncheon yesterday to hear Mark Gungor give a preview of his marriage seminar, Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage.  A couple of things he mentioned especially stood out to me. He said, “The key to a successful marriage is not - finding the right person. The key to a successful marriage is ... doing the right things. If you do the right things you’ll succeed…if you don’t, you’ll fail. It’s just that simple.”

This week I read the following in a news article* by Author Sandra Tsing Loh: “Sadly, and to my horror, I am divorcing. This was a 20-year partnership. My husband is a good man, though...